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Encouragement for Home School Paralysis

August 26, 2010
Have you ever needed some encouragement? Ever felt alone on the island of “Mess and Confusion” and needed a message in a bottle? I have to say that this “move” seems to be the most difficult one so far. This is a great frustration for me. Shouldn’t I be getting better at this thing? I’m an”experienced” military wife now. This is our TENTH move (including the apartments in Maine, Albuquerque and New Jersey) in our 16 years of married life. It is our 4th Transatlantic move in 7 years. I should be getting really proficient at this lifestyle. But no. I am at the end of myself. I begin to see that this may not be comfortable, but it is a good place to be. Here is where I begin to UNDERSTAND that His GRACE is sufficient for me. Not in perfect neatness and orderliness. HIS GRACE. In a world turned upside-down, Jesus is my strong tower; a shelter like no other – in a box packed in Germany, in my mess of a house in Edgewood or in the world at large (Matthew 24:3-14). 
This week I sent out an SOS to some friends and family. This is what I, in tears, wrote:
“Need some encouragement here….up to my eyeballs in unpacking….everything is a mess! I’m opening up school – my boxed and “organized” Core Curriculums, only to find missing books…….feeling very overwhelmed, extremely inadequate and totally unprepared! Tell me…..why am I doing this?!”
From the practical, to the Biblical, to the caring, to the funny, I was overwhelmed with the love and care that God sent my way through these dear people. Thank you. You were Jesus’ healing hands and loving arms for me in this weary time.
“Why am I doing this?” Here are some of the encouraging responses to my cry for help:
Just the fact that these problems have to be dealt with in regular school:

More encouragement:
You’re doing this because you’re a wonderful wife and mother who wants
the best for her children. You may be the best wife and mother in the
world, from my perspective, of course I’m a little biased. If that
husband of yours would be more help it would probably make things
easier. I’ll have a talk with him. By the way, did I mention how
beautiful you are? 😉

I love you!


That husband of yours…

And more encouragement…..
I’ll be remembering you in prayer!
And More……..
Dear friend – You are doing this because God wants you to and the fact that Satan is battling you every step of the way shows you are doing the right thing!!  Your children are better for it.  I have so been in that place, too, where it feels like “Is it worth it?”  Yes, dear friend, it is!!!  Look at your precious ones (especially when they are asleep) and you will see that they are worth it!  Thank you for being so open and real with us and wearing your emotions on your sleeve.  All of us homeschool moms need a boost and reminder now and then, I think.  It has encouraged me too, that I am not the only one who struggles!  🙂
Dear Father God- I pray for my dear sister, Melissa. Please strengthen her with Your strength and give her Your peace that passes understanding.  Help her to rest in the shadow of Your wings and be renewed.  Give her children an extra dose of obedience and helpfulness.  Help Melissa delegate well the things that she doesn’t have to do so that she can focus on the things that only she can do.  I pray for a quick and easy resolution to the missing books, that the school year would be able to start calmly and organized.  Help the kids to be diligent in their work and at peace with one another.  May a spirit of unity and peace fill the Lane home. 
In the precious name of Jesus- Amen
And more…..

I don’t know if it helps, but I felt I should let you know…you are not alone!  I am working on prepping for the next year and even though it’s all planned out and organized, I too feel overwhelmed, inadequate and unprepared…and I didn’t have a move that would test my faith in the process.  Know you are being prayed for and missed.  As for why you’re doing this, I’m positive you have great reasons…I suggest writing them down and looking them over when you get frustrated.

Part of my list for the why’s:

-I want to be involved in my kids’ education.

-We want to know what they are taught.

-We want them taught a Biblical worldview.

-I enjoy watching them learn and blossom! *

-They actually want me to teach them.

-I’m learning tons teaching them.

-We know it’s what God wants us to do this year. *

 *These two usually keep me going in the worst of times (not necessarily in the listed order J ).

Grace, peace and love-

J*** J

And More……

Oh Melissa it sounds like such a hectic time right now! Can you push
school start back a week considering the situation? Not sure how
anxious you are to begin?

I wish there was more we could do so far away! You will be in our
prayers, I am sure you are being lifted up by many!

Lots of love, T**


I totally relate! I was supposed to start my school classes w/ the kids 3 weeks ago — the 1st week I tried – M***** came down w/ Mono (there went my big helper) – the second week I tried, E**** came down with Lyme Arthritis ( a stage 3 Lyme disease symptom) & I spent 4 days w/ her in the hospital as she had to have hip surgery (she is healing well so far), after re-grouping from my 4 day “away from the home” time…. this past week I tried to start school again and M***** totaled my car – she is okay – the car is a total loss – wasn’t her fault – but that meant trips to the tow shed, the police station for reports, and dealing with the insurance companies – and we can’t find our title so we have a week or two delay in trying to obtain another vehicle for me. I am so unmotivated and tired and feel so disorganized – now I have to remember a few things that may help you as well —
> besides being reminded, as you were by your lovely husband, that you are mother who cares about her children and doing what is best….
> remember that these interruptions in life are opportunities to do the Lord’s work…HOW we react in these times of stress and difficulty… how can we be there with our kids and do what we can at the moment ( I am not a good “in the moment” person and D***** has to keep reminding me to step back and enjoy the moment with the kids and with life instead of fretting about my plans and what was supposed to be according to me).
> Also – remember that we are in charge of our school year… perhaps a step back for a time to re-group, adjust to your new surroundings, and do only what can be done and not worry about what books are not there yet — focus on what you can do. I have decided that I will take the rest of this week off for “organizing” and prep work — allow the kids one week of (hopefully) no tragedies and illness — so that we can have a “down time week” and then the week after Labor Day begin our regular school routine…. so I am 4 weeks behind what I THOUGHT I should be doing — but I need to go with what life has presented and I need to be a good witness of trusting in the Lord and being calm. I will have to tweak the school year calendar now -but what ‘s the big deal really? In the scheme of things — it is a small matter.
> So, Melissa – stay the course, lean on the EVERLASTING ARMS, be filled with JOY with your kids and don’t frustrate yourself with things that you can’t control.
> We home school to BE with our kids and raise them in a Godly manner. Be blessed and do not fret….
> Your friend — S*****


You are doing this because it is the right thing to do.  God does not promise that everything will be wonderful and easy, but he does promise that he will be there for us always.  When you are feeling inadequate, that’s the time to call out to God, because he is capable.  If you are not prepared, delay school.  That’s the beauty of what we do – we can schedule things to suit us.  Give yourself a break and focus on getting your house put together first.  Holding off on school a few weeks will not hurt anyone!  

Hang in there.  Do one thing at a time, and it will all get done.
Big hugs,
And more….a card from my Mother. The most fun Mother in the WORLD. She always makes me smile, even when I’m crying and miss her . 🙂
Thank you all again for your encouragement. It took 2-3 days, but the schoolbooks are all unpacked and arranged. I think that we have found all of the missing ones. (Except a few from last year that I think may have been left at the bedbug TLF!) I have placed my order for the rest of our Sonlight books and will have a place to put them when they arrive. I’ll try to order the Math-U-See things today.
I am not sure when we’ll start school. I think we’ll do a staggered start. Start with Math and Science on the 7th and add the rest on the 13th. We’ll see. God is good.
One Comment leave one →
  1. ksb08 permalink
    August 27, 2010 6:20 am

    Thank you Melissa, for sharing this. I so could have written your SOS email last week. I have totally been feeling the same… “feeling very overwhelmed, extremely inadequate and totally unprepared! Tell me…..why am I doing this?!” This last week I have just wanted to hide in my room and cry and cry. So, although I have no encouragement to give today…I will feast on the encouragement all your friends sent your way. Thank you for sharing. Missssss you!!

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